Female friendships have always been a many trousered thing. From the hierarchy of acquaintances and friends, to sub categories of bffl's, frenemies and the like it's no overstatement to say shit gets complicated. I've had my fair share of life ending moments with my female friends. From text message friend breakups to in your face wtfmoments. The rollercoaster of female friendship is nothing new, but my conception of collective female relations has changed. With 2015 being the unprecedented year of squad goals, wondering if everyone in your crew is on fleek and such became a minor preoccupation. Ideas of having a crew full of stunners who would let you #youcan'tsitwithus under ever group pic was the MO across the board. This introduction of squad goals, in the post gossip girl era, also brought up some ideas of loving, supporting and cheering (externally) for your best mates - whether you actually meant it or not was another tale. Honestly beyond the optics of your perfect girl gang no one cares about women sticking together. Chimamanda said it best when she declared that we are told to be in competition for boys and everything in life. You're only as good as the next girl you crush, the next goal that you achieve - and intra squad competition exists as much as inter squad competition does. The idea of being the best, residing at the top alone not only cements patriarchal ideals of womanhood blah blah blah BUT more importantly reduces the kinship, bond, dare I say magic that arises through friendships between women. I'm always most reminded of the magic that is friendship between women when I see the novel a thousand splendid suns, where Mariam gives her life up for Laila.
My own effort to shoot these beloved women in my life is rooted in the notion that no matter how much we fall apart individually we can still come together. But more specifically I've had to reflect, end and begin new relationships with people I never thought would be in and out of my life. Some of these girls I've known this side of forever, while others are new additions.
Seeing them together made me consider what did I, and do currently feel I need from my female friendships and the energy that they bring. And since this is a blog centered on style, I had to think about what friendship becomes aesthetically. Quite a challenge because we are all so different. Plus the first fashion squad I saw was in the Givenchy ads, remember the ones ft Maria Carla and Sasha Pivovarova? Back when prepubescent slavic models ruled the scene? To me that embedded this idea of the ultra femme. A cool girl in isolation. You don't really see them interacting or even aware of each other's presence. But in reality my friends lend awareness, in the last 2 years I've started toning down my sartorial leanings from insane to crazy. Becoming visually milder has occurred in part, due to me panic snap chatting my pals about whether x item of clothing was going too far. More so seeing the items of clothing they buy, wear and love has changed my mind about silhouettes, attitude and colour. This has lead to many a convo on what the merits of wearing trendy items, choosing not to buy items if they're dry clean only etc.... However the most valuable conversations are the ones where we breathe life into each others sartorial visions. Individually its easy to get boxed into an extreme aesthetic, however a on the person 2 person or group level more facets are revelaed. A romanticized vision may be deducted to its bare bones, and reconstituted once more. So maybe one needs friends more than a stylist. And squad goals don't need to be planned out if you're really in tune.